How Do I Get a Girlfriend?
What teen guys need to know about dating.
She Likes You, She Likes You Not?
Few guys go through their teen years without their share of dating failures. The girl you like may simply not like you back.
How do you know in advance? You could get one of your friends to ask one of her friends, says Smiler. But the best way to get a straight answer is to take the direct approach. Ask her to an upcoming dance, for example.
"You usually get a clear yes or no," Smiler says. "A 'no' sucks, but you will recover from it. Rejection is part of this. It will hurt, then the hurt will go away."
Sometimes you're direct, but the girl's answer is vague. She says she's busy or has other plans. That might be true, or it might be what she thinks is a gentler way to tell you she's not interested.
"Be persistent, but stick to the 'three strikes, you’re out' rule," says Lyon. "If she keeps saying no, cross her off the list."
Remember, always respect her. If she says "no," let it go. She probably won't change her mind, and if you keep asking her out, it will annoy her.
Don't think you have to date just because all your friends are doing it. That's especially true if you don’t think you're ready or you simply don't want to, Smiler says.
Lyon agrees. "Don't freak out if you don't have a girlfriend in high school, and don't compare yourself to other guys who do. Be patient with yourself. It will come."
When you do date, here's a cheat sheet to help:
- Don't horse around with her like she's a buddy. She's not. She's your date.
- Look her in the eye. Don't stare at her breasts.
- Smile and act like you're interested in what she's saying. (You are, right?)
- Don't pick your nose or do anything else you'd be embarrassed for her to notice.
- Don't drink and don't do other drugs, either. That can really mess up your judgment. Bad idea.
- Be polite. For instance, it may seem old-fashioned, but hold the door for her as a courtesy.
- Slow down, and always respect her feelings.