Teen Boys' Health

Teen Boys and Abstinence

How to Handle the Pressure to Have Sex

"Just say no!" It's not that easy, is it? Especially if you are feeling pressure from a girlfriend you really care about. Here are some tips to help you fire back when you are feeling pressured to have sex.

What to say to your girlfriend:

• Be honest. Tell her why you have chosen abstinence. Be firm with your choice -- even if the subject comes up while you are fooling around.
• Don't get trapped. If your girlfriend pulls the, "If you love me then you'd do it," line, don't get sucked in. Remember, sex is not proof of a person's love. In fact, not having sex says a lot about a person's level of respect. And that line works both ways -- "If you love me, you would respect my desire to wait."
• Walk away. If you continue to feel pressured, get up and leave.

What to say to your friends:

• I'm not ready.
• I don't want to be used.
• I'm waiting for the right person.
• I've got more important things to do with my time.
• It goes against my religious beliefs.
• I want to wait until I get married or find the right person.
• I don't want to catch a disease.
• I don't have to have sex to get off.
• I don't want to get my girlfriend pregnant.
• I respect myself and my girlfriend.

Even though you may think your friends won't like you, they really will. Friends do not choose friends based on virginity. But if your friends actually do reject you because you wait to have sex, then they aren't true friends anyway. You are better off finding new ones.

Be True to Yourself

Do not let peer pressure get in the way of your choice to wait to have sex. Stick to your guns. You will feel better about yourself and your partner. Remember, more people regret having sex then not having sex. Don't second guess yourself.