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Teen Boys and Abstinence

Why Guys Are Waiting to Have Sex

Guys can sometimes talk a big game, mostly to be cool and fit in. But, when it comes to sex, what guys say and what they really think may be two different things. In fact, a national survey conducted between 2006 and 2010 found that among boys ages 15 to 19, 42% said they had had sexual intercourse - a decline from 45.7% in 2002 and 55.2% in 1995. Others abstained for these reasons:

  • 31% said they didn't have sex for moral or religious reasons.
  • 12.6% said they didn't have sex because of pregnancy worries.
  • 6.3% said they did not want to get a sexually transmitted disease.
  • 29.4% said they hadn't yet met the right partner.
  • 10.8% said they were in a relationship but were waiting for the right time. In 2002, only 4.4% of the same population cited this as a reason to abstain from sex.


How to Handle the Pressure to Have Sex

"Just say no!" It's not that easy, is it? Especially if you are feeling pressure from a girlfriend you really care about. Here are some tips to help you fire back when you are feeling pressured to have sex.

What to say to your girlfriend:

  • Be honest. Tell her why you have chosen abstinence. Be firm with your choice -- even if the subject comes up while you are fooling around.
  • Don't get trapped. If your girlfriend pulls the, "If you love me then you'd do it," line, don't get sucked in. Remember, sex is not proof of a person's love. In fact, not having sex says a lot about a person's level of respect. And that line works both ways -- "If you love me, you would respect my desire to wait."
  • Walk away. If you continue to feel pressured, get up and leave.

What to say to your friends:

  • I'm not ready.
  • I don't want to be used.
  • I'm waiting for the right person.
  • I've got more important things to do with my time.
  • It goes against my religious beliefs.
  • I want to wait until I get married or find the right person.
  • I don't want to catch a disease.
  • I don't have to have sex to get off.
  • I don't want to get my girlfriend pregnant.
  • I respect myself and my girlfriend.

Even though you may think your friends won't like you, they really will. Friends do not choose friends based on virginity. But if your friends actually do reject you because you wait to have sex, then they aren't true friends anyway. You are better off finding new ones.

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