Looking for ways to improve your self-esteem? You're not alone! It's normal
to have doubts about yourself during adolescence.
Look what happened to "Lauren" (not her real name) when she dressed
for PE the first day of school. As she tied her tennis shoes, she noticed she
had on two different colored socks -- one pink and one white. She was
mortified! What would the other students think when they saw her?
Sometimes, an unhealthy or abusive relationship is pretty easy to spot. Consider this example:
Tina's parents were watching television as Tina (not her real name) burst through the front door without closing it, and ran into her bedroom. Her parents went to Tina's room to investigate. As they approached their daughter's bedroom, they could hear her crying hysterically. They asked if they could come in. Tina said yes.
Once they were in the bedroom, Tina turned to look at them, and they saw a...
Lauren quickly took the socks off and stuffed them in the left pocket of her
gym shirt. She hated attention of any type and hoped no one would notice. Yet
when she walked into the gym and sat down, a boy who was always obnoxious stood
up, pointed to Lauren, and said, "Hey, girl. Why is your gym shirt so
Lauren looked down. The stuffed socks in her pocket made her look very busty
-- on her left side only. With tears running down her face, she stared at the
floor until the teacher excused the class to run laps.
While Lauren normally had good self-esteem, the way she handled this
embarrassing situation is typical of many teens, who may feel insecure in a
large group or among people they don't know well.
What Is Self-Esteem?
According to Nathaniel Branden, PhD, noted author and expert on the subject,
"self-esteem is the experience of being competent to cope with the basic
challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness."
Basically, having healthy self-esteem means thinking as highly of yourself
as you think of your friends and peers. Many people have become so used to
negative feedback that we are more aware of our weaknesses than our strengths.
Often, we cannot enjoy our successes -- no matter how large or small they might
be -- because we think of ourselves as "failures."
Why Is Self-Esteem Important?
Healthy self-esteem plays a role in almost everything you do. Teens with
high self-esteem have better relationships with peers and adults, feel happier
about their accomplishments, and find it easier to deal with disappointments
and failures. They are more likely to ask for help and support from family and
friends. They're also more likely to do well in school, setting reasonable
goals and accomplishing them.