Talking Tip 5: Pick Your Battles
Conversations always go better when they don’t become fights. “If everything is a crisis or battle, you and your parents will get ‘battle fatigue,’” McCoy says. “If you go along with their limits most of the time, then ask for an exception -- to stay out later or do something new, for example -- you have a much better chance of having them say ‘yes.’”
Talking Tip 6: Pick the Right Time and Place
It’s not a great idea to give your parents bad news when they’re rushing off to work. Talking in the car when you're doing errands can be a good time. And if you’re angry, wait until you cool off.Go for a run, cry, or hit a punching bag or pillow first.
Talking Tip 7: Listen When Your Parents Talk
It's tempting to dismiss your parents' opinions. But if you give them time to tell you what they think, they’re more likely to listen to you. Try the “five-second rule”: Everyone agrees to wait five seconds after another person has finished talking before responding.
Talking Tip 8: Find Other Adults You Trust
In some cases, it just may not be possible to talk to your parents. Maybe your mom can’t be there for you because she has her own troubles. Or your dad is not even willing to listen. One of your parents may not even be around. In that case, find another adult you trust – like a favorite aunt, a teacher, or a counselor. The most important thing is to have a reliable adult that you can turn to when you need to talk.