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Dealing with Friends

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Also, by exploring your own body and how it responds to different types of touching, you may be more aware of your own sexual likes and dislikes in the future, when there is another person involved. And if you’re wondering about orgasms (what they’re like, how to tell if/when you have one, etc.), don’t stress. Orgasms are different for each person but pretty easy to recognize. If you’ve had a really great physical feeling that starts small and gets bigger and bigger, you’ve probably had one. And if you haven’t, keep exploring your body—you will!

Myth 3: More is better.
Truth: Keep your lifetime number LOW.

We live in a supersize society. We want bigger houses, more food, and bigger cars—no wonder our economy got into big trouble in 2008. People (that is, adults) just kept wanting more, more, more . . . until they outspent their budgets. Why was anyone surprised? At school you hear the more-more-more message constantly. The more friends you have, the better! The more activities you’re in, the better! The more colleges you apply to, the better!

But that’s not necessarily true. Imagine if you participated in so many activities or filled out so many college applications that you didn’t have time to sleep. If you’ve ever felt overcommitted and stressed out, then you know what I’m talking about—more isn’t always better.

Unfortunately, some people want you to think that more is better when it comes to sex. That’s just not true. Medically speaking, sex with more people isn’t better. It’s a lot worse. I illustrate this for my patients by showing them the “sex pyramid,” which explains how, by sleeping with one guy even once, you may be, in effect, sleeping with dozens or even hundreds of people. You’re exposing yourself to anything his partners have, and anything their partners had, and so on and so on. . . . That’s pretty scary in a world where more than half of all people carry the HPV virus and 20 percent of Americans have genital herpes.

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